My niece is 11 years old going on...my last nerve. I love her to pieces, but my biggest issue with her these days is her inability to openly admit when she’s done something wrong. For example, inexplicably leaving egg shells in one of the bathroom drawers. FYI I am still trying to get the full story on that one.
I’ve thought about how my issue with her current behavior actually reminds me of issues that I have had with co-workers. I am only left to assume that their aunts also found miscellaneous food items in odd places around the house. I do want to point out that it’s not her unwavering curiosity or her tendency to make mistakes that grinds my gears. She is a small human and she is still trying to figure out WTF is even happening in this crazy world. My biggest qualm is that when asked about the inappropriately stored eggshells she lied...right to my face!
A lot of leaders are doing yoga 7 days a week and pulling out their hair trying to figure out how to actually create this utopic company culture where grown, fully functioning adults actually tell the truth. One would think that it would be a lot simpler than it is. We all know that one co-worker that would use their last dying breath to throw you under the bus. We've all gotten master's degrees in CYA over the years because of them. A lot of great employees have left organizations due to the sneaking, creeping, and infighting between team members. So much time and talent is wasted because of malicious, highly political work cultures. So, how do you shape a company culture that spends their time thinking about revenue generating activities instead of plotting their next coup? I’ve developed a few pointers that can keep your office from turning into a battle scene from Game of Thrones.
Embrace the Cringe
Have you ever been in a meeting and had a moment that was so awkward that you just blurted out “I think it’s best to table this for another time!”? One of the biggest obstacles to accountability is building up the gumption to tackle conflict head on. This includes encouraging your employees to hold themselves or others accountable in the moment. My niece still tries to poke out her lip and shed a few crocodile tears whenever she’s in trouble. She knows that other human beings are uncomfortable watching someone else cry. My motto is, “If you can cry, you can breathe; and if you can breathe, you can talk...so start explaining”.
A lot of adults weaponize their sadness to make situations so uncomfortable that you are forced to put a topic on the backburner in order to end the excruciating awkwardness of the moment. This, my friends, is exactly how children and big children (read: adults) avoid accountability. Now, I do recognize that I am the type of person that eats awkwardness and conflict for breakfast; but it’s an acquired taste. I would never recommend you throw sympathy to the wayside and encourage bullying someone into participating in a conversation. However, setting expectations can avoid someone trying to flip the script on you during a meeting. If people know what they are responsible for, when they will be required to give updates on their responsibilities, and what the rewards/punishments are for their performance then they can’t act surprised when they’re reprimanded for not being...responsible. There are a lot of ways to avoid the awkward turtle and prevent people from ugly crying in the middle of a status meeting.
Make it plain. It needs to be written, verbalized, and demonstrated what each employee will be responsible for and what they must answer to. This can be done in an employee handbook or an employee’s performance objectives. The key is making the information accessible to everyone.
Schedule it. Are they responsible for creating a brief for the weekly team meeting? Will they only have to answer to their responsibility during the annual performance review? Don’t make your employees walk on eggshells because they are waiting to be called out. Create agendas for all of your meetings. Create cadences (regularly scheduled emails, reports, meetings) where people know that they will be responsible for speaking or providing updates at that specific time.
Give out carrots and sticks. In human resources, everybody knows that you need a carrot and a stick to train a rabbit. Don’t ask me where it comes from. I just know it’s a highly relevant analogy. Humans are the same way. In order to drive behaviors, you need to have clear rewards and clear punishments for every rule you set in place. What are you going to give to people who make mistakes, but they own up to it and take the initiative to solve the problem? What are you going to do if people lie and try to place blame on others? Again, these are things that you need to write down and make plain so that everyone is on the same page about what type of behavior is acceptable at your company.
You have to tailor your leadership style to the people you are leading.
Remember: People Gone People
A lot of people think making a mistake inherently makes them a bad or less valuable person. I’m not a mental health expert, but I’m guessing this has to do with every human’s innate need to make our parents happy. Think about it! When you’re a wee little baby, your parents equal survival (food, shelter, protection, cuddles). It would not be wise to tick off the people that hold the fruit snacks and apple juice. So from an early age we learn how to hide our imperfections to make mama and papa happy. Our therapists were right! We all have an inner child that is afraid of getting caught with the eggshells so they lie, sneak, and scheme in order to continue getting fruit snacks and play Roblox all day. Wow...someone call Iyanla because we just had a breakthrough.
The workplace is filled with adult-sized children. A lot of CEOs and leaders forget that their workers are people first. They have past experiences. They have insecurities. They have hopes and dreams. But, above all, they have fears and flaws. In order to increase accountability in the workplace, you have to build a culture where you recognize people’s humanity.
Say it loud. Verbalizing to your team that mistakes will naturally happen can go a long way. Encourage curiosity and risk taking where it makes sense.
Timing is everything. You should also be mindful of when it is appropriate to call people out in a group setting or talk about their missteps in a private 1:1 meeting. You have to tailor your leadership style to the people you are leading.
Walk it how you talk it. Another key piece of building a workplace where humans come first is investing in everyone’s wellness. Flexible work arrangements, robust health benefits, support for working parents, realistic leave and PTO policies, a diverse and EQUITABLE work culture all go a long way in demonstrating with your actions that your company cares about its people and not just with your words. If you take care of your people, then they will take care of you.
Say Us, We, Ours, Together
Senior year in college I had an internship. My boss taught me a lot during my time there, but he said one thing that will always stick with me, “If you make a mistake, you need to be the first person to tell me about it”. Because that was my first “big girl job”, I often found myself softly knocking on his door with my eyes diverted to the floor asking if he had 5 minutes for me to tell him about something that I had done and was very, very sorry for. Although he did express his disappointment in me, he didn’t make me feel like less of a person. He always let me know that I was capable of great things and that the problem was ours to solve together. That is good leadership!
Conversely, I also saw other interns get publicly berated for picking up the wrong coffee order. Their bosses were always perplexed because they would make the same mistake over and over again. Go figure. I can’t imagine why someone would hide something from these managers. It will be up to your CEO and Chief People Officer to set the tone for the culture. However, it will be up to your managers to interpret those guidelines and demonstrate what they look like on the day-to-day. You’ll need to mold your leaders into coaches and cheerleaders instead of task masters and overlords. This will form a culture where everyone feels like they can speak up and get the opportunity to right their wrongs in a dignified manner. You can get your managers on board with a few tricks.
Leadership Meetings: You have to make the space to have important conversations. Setting a regular day and time to discuss key developments within your organization and changes to its leadership style is a necessity. It could be a quarterly town hall meeting or an annual leadership summit, but it needs to happen.
Performance Management: Using your performance management process to enforce leadership expectations is a tool that is used by large organizations. Set people management related performance objectives for your people managers. Make them responsible for turnover and diversity metrics within their teams. They are not solely responsible for the work their team produces, but they need to know that they are responsible for the people themselves.
New Manager Training: This has to be the most underrated experience within an organization. A lot of CEOs have all-star employees that do whatever you tell them to do with 1000% effort. As the business grows, they decide to put these all-stars in leadership positions and allow them to manage other employees. These same CEOs are baffled when their all-stars fail spectacularly in their new roles. Making the shift from individual contributor to people manager can be difficult without the right support. That is why your organization needs to have resources for new leaders including a formal training that helps your all-stars develop the soft skills and emotional intelligence needed to lead.
Be the Mockingjay
It will be a challenge to create a culture of shared responsibility, particularly because we don’t live in a world where cohesiveness is a priority. However, we all know what happens in environments where everyone is out for themselves (see: Hunger Games trilogy). The odds will never be in your favor if you don’t intentionally curate a culture of togetherness. You will have to go out of your way to put empathy and understanding at the forefront in order for people to feel safe enough to admit their wrongdoings. The reward for the challenge will be the creativity, the productivity, and the loyalty your employees will bring with them everyday.
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